Hunter had friends and a busy job. He still felt something was missing
By Megan Gorrey
Hunter Karam was an extrovert with plenty of friends and a job in construction when he noticed he was feeling an uncomfortable emotion he couldn’t quite put his finger on when he was in his early 20s.
“At first it was just confusing, I didn’t know what I was feeling. I felt a bit sad, or like I didn’t have that same drive.”
Hunter Karam, 24, says making more meaningful connections eased his loneliness.Credit: Dominic Lorrimer
It was only later Karam, 24, realised the feeling was loneliness, after long hours on the job and rostered shifts made it harder for him to catch up with his friends and sapped his usual energy.
“I was working in a team of 40 people, but I was lonely,” he said. “It made me realise if I can feel lonely, anyone can.”
Experiences like Karam’s will come under the microscope of a NSW parliamentary inquiry this year.
Mental Health Minister Rose Jackson has asked the chair of the parliamentary standing committee on social issues, Dr Sarah Kaine, to investigate the extent, causes and impacts of loneliness in NSW.
“Loneliness is more than just an emotional experience; it has profound impacts on our mental and physical health. This inquiry will help us better understand the issue and pave the way for practical solutions to bring our communities closer together,” Jackson said.
Jackson said loneliness – the distress caused by a person feeling a greater level of social disconnection than they desire – had emerged as a significant public and growing health problem during the COVID-19 pandemic. She said it was often referred to as a “silent epidemic” that was accompanied by shame, despite the fact most people would feel lonely at some point in their life.
“Our society is changing and as the social bonds break down, as established communities break down, I think we should take a moment to ask why are people more lonely, what are the negative outcomes of that, and, more importantly, what can we do about it?” Jackson said.
“This is way more than a health issue, it’s our planning, it’s our workplaces.”
Nearly 40 per cent of NSW residents experience varying degrees of loneliness, and those facing mental health challenges are almost twice as likely to feel isolated, a 2022 community wellbeing survey by the Mental Health Commission has found.
Loneliness has been linked to premature death, poor physical and mental health, greater psychological distress and general life dissatisfaction, according to the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare.
In addition, 1.7 million Sydneysiders lived alone or were single – the highest number of any Australian city.
Jackson said the upper house inquiry would review how other jurisdictions were tackling loneliness.
It will also identify those most at risk of social isolation, and steps the state government and community can take to reduce its pervasiveness and negative impacts. She said the committee would work with mental health experts, advocates, and those with a lived experience of loneliness during the inquiry.
Karam, of Dulwich Hill, was spurred by his experiences, and the deaths by suicide of several friends and colleagues, to start the Mental Fitness Collective, an initiative that brings people together to work on their mental, physical and emotional fitness through exercise and group conversation.
“Once I was around people again, I felt so supported and so connected. It really did change my life.”
Relationships Australia NSW chief executive Elisabeth Shaw said people could experience loneliness due to a lack of social connections, but they could also be surrounded by others and feel deeply lonely. Either way, Shaw said, the ramifications could be life-threatening.
“When loneliness becomes chronic it can lead to further impoverishment in terms of identity, life experience, confidence, and can even shorten your lifespan.”
Shaw said humans were social beings who varied in the amount of human contact they needed, but who all required others to survive and thrive, emotionally and physically.
“Intimate or familial relationships, friends, neighbourhoods, workplaces and interest groups all play a part,” Shaw said.
If you or anyone you know needs help, call Lifeline on 13 11 14 (and see lifeline.org.au), the National Sexual Abuse and Redress Support Service on 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), or Kids Helpline on 1800 551 800.
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