Forget Quirk’s 60-day review into Olympic venues. I did mine in 60 minutes

This review is haphazard and completely lacking input from experts and any detailed costings, much like former premier Annastacia Palaszczuk’s decision to rebuild the Gabba in the first place.

Quirk might be eminently more qualified than me to conduct such a review, but dammit, this ain’t rocket science. And I guarantee I have delivered this review for less than half of Quirk’s reported $150,000 remuneration, and in 0.07 per cent of the time.

You’re welcome.

The Gabba

Look, there are no bad ideas in a brainstorm. Rebuilding the Gabba to host track and field was a fine idea and one certainly worth investigating, but not an idea worth announcing before any detailed study was done.

A $1 billion pricetag was eyebrow-raising. A $2.7 billion pricetag was just obscene, given what other stadiums in the world cost, and they are much more advanced stadiums than what was planned for the Gabba.

The Gabba rebuild should be scrapped, period. But that’s not to say it’s not in need of some major improvements.

Taking athletics away from the Gabba has a happy side-effect. Cricket will be an Olympic sport from 2028. What better place to watch Australia go for gold in the Twenty20 Olympic final in Brisbane?

That said, the Gabba will need refurbishment that goes beyond a spit-and-polish. A few hundred million could easily be spent improving the joint – not insignificant, by any means, but also not $2.7 billion.

So, where to for track and field?

“Mr Olympics” John Coates last week floated the Queensland Sport and Athletics Centre at Nathan, the main stadium for the 1982 Commonwealth Games, as an option.

Put a line through that one. Its ease of access makes the Entertainment Centre at Boondall look good. Just like Ballymore is for rugby, QSAC is for athletics – perfect for a high-performance centre, but not for anything that draws a crowd.

Gold Coast mayor Tom Tate is pushing the barrow for Metricon Stadium at Carrara, host of the 2018 Commonwealth Games. Put a line through that, as well. Cost-saving measures should not include Brisbane 2032 events out of Brisbane.

Olympic organisers should instead dust off their original plans for a modular stadium at Albion, which would have temporary stands and be downsized after the Games.

Public transport access would have to be improved, through pedestrian-friendly routes from Bowen Hills and Albion train stations. The Brisbane Metro (or BERT – make it happen) could also help in that regard, as could a new CityCat stop at Breakfast Creek.

The new green bridge over Breakfast Creek, which opened on the weekend, will certainly be handy as well.

Brisbane Arena

For the love of all that is good, deliver this project! Just not the $2.5 billion proposal for above the railway tracks at Roma Street.

Turning Harvey Lister’s thought bubble into reality was always going to be quite the effort, financially and as a matter of engineering.

And never mind that the train disruptions during the years of construction would all but negate any benefits from the long-awaited opening of Cross River Rail.

But an alternative inner-city site must be found, be it across the road at Police Headquarters or across the river at the old milk factory site at South Brisbane, which Quirk identified as his preferred site about eight years ago.

Whatever happens, Brisbane concertgoers cannot be expected to endure the purgatory that is the Boondall car parks any longer.

So, Police HQ it is. Sorry, Katarina, but I’m sure we’ll be able to find you a nicer office somewhere else.

Other legacy projects

As for the rest of the proposed venues, I see no reason to change any of them – with one exception, which would not surprise my regular readers.

Perry Park should replace Ballymore as the main Olympic hockey venue.

Unlike Ballymore, Perry Park has the public transport links needed to get people in and out in a hurry – it’s across the road from Bowen Hills train station and is serviced by several bus routes.

A boutique rectangular stadium will not only be a great Olympic legacy, but also a belated legacy from the success of the FIFA Women’s World Cup.

The demand for such a development is there. Fixture congestion at Suncorp Stadium has made the pitch there, at times, almost unplayable.

In response, fans have mobilised to push for Perry Park’s redevelopment – separate petitions to the state government and Brisbane City Council have attracted thousands of signatures.

An Olympic requirement for two competition hockey fields – something the space-restricted Perry Park may struggle to accommodate – gives rise to the State Hockey Centre at Colmslie hosting lower-drawing matches. Spruce Colmslie up as well, so hockey gets its own legacy from the Games – a quick ferry ride across the river from the athletes’ village at Hamilton.

Some reconsideration may be needed if lacrosse remains an Olympic sport in 2032, following its return to the Los Angeles Games in 2028. That could yet bring Ballymore back into the fold.

So, there it is. Review done.

I will assume my cheque’s in the mail.

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